At least I am not crying today

Today is a better day than yesterday was, I had cried alot yesterday that my head and eyes hurt. I sat in my room and did nothing but think about how my life had changed and what a burden I was on my parents, but I fianlly realized that I am not a burden on anyone and I need to learn to accept what has happened to me and go on and be myself and love myself.
I got a hair up my rear end today to rearrange some things that I use alot and wanted to move them closer to my desk, so I didn't have to get up and get them out of the drawers so I moved the magazine holders and put the drawers on the table and then I put the KNK kits that I have had in a paper holder and then I put them on top of the drawers, so they are easy to see and I can use them and not let them pile up and have a stockpile. I am also trying to get all the papers and cardstock into vertical storage and I now know how many that I have to get in order to put all my papers in. I saw on Srapbook.com had a coupon for the Cropper Hopper storage and instead of $24.99 they are $13.50 after the coupon and the it is good until the 18th of May so I might be getting a couple more of them and then I should have enough for awhile. But then O have another problem of where to put them but that is not a problem that will stop me from buying them. When I was at Wal-Mart I was in the Clearance Isle and there the Scrapbook bag that I have had my eye on ever since they came into the craft department and it was on clearance for $10.00 instead of $40.00. It is the mimi bag-- Pink and Chocolate bag and I had to dig for that color, at first all that I could find was the Stone & Chocolate or the Green & Chocolate and then I moved the a couple of boxes and the last Pink was there and it went in my basket and I was happy. I went to the checkout and Mom and Dad were in line a couple of lanes away and when I got done I was waiting on them and Dad saw what I had and he made a face and later on, Mom told me that he said that if I get anytjhing else for scrapbooking that I am not going to have room for me. But that won't happen because I can always move some stuff into the other room that is if I ever get busy and get it cleaned out and rearranged to have room for more junk.. But when I suggest going in there and starting Mom always has an excuse and I am not doing it by myself again and I am not going to move things like I did in my room. That put me out of commission for about a week and I paid for it in the amount of pain that I had and I don't want that again and I am not putting myself through that. So I am off to work on the BP class "Color Me Happy" and see what I can find to do after that. Thanks for reading my blog and Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)

Today Really Sucks

4 years ago my life was about as normal as everyone else's and that changed all because of a boat accident. That accident changed my life into a roller coaster ride that not only affects me but also my parents, instead of me taking care of them they are now taking care of me and will have to for the rest of my life and that is not what is supposed to happen at all. If only I would have listen to my inner voice not to go but the boys had convinced me to go and they had said that they really wanted me to go, so I went and it really changed my life. I blame Bill for it and he blames me and says that if I was sitting in the seat that I was supposed to be in that I would not be in the chair but if it was meant to happen then it would of happened in the other one also so it is not my fault and I guess that it is not really his fault either. If he would of said that he was sorry that this had happened to me then maybe I would not blame him but he has never said that he was sorry or anything, the only thing that he said to me was that he would not take responsiblitly for the accident and that he would not pay any bills so I better get a job and start saving my money, but he was the one that caused me not to be able to work in the first place and he is not taking responsibility for that either, in 1998 he was taking to work and it ws raining and he had rear ended another car and I was thrown into the windshield and had to have surgery in 2000 for a pinched nerve in my neck from the accident. I had to have my neck fused, because in the accident I had a dislocated vertabra in my neck and they could not fix it and while they were doing the surgery I foumd out that I had congetially fused vertabra and they had to fuse the rest of them to make my neck stable so that is what they did and the end result was that I was not able to move my neck enough to be able to work, cannot drive either because I cannot move my neck up, down,side to side if I have to turn my neck I have to turn my body to look at what is on the side and I have learned to compromise and it has been hard to learn to do that. But I hav eovercame alot int he last few years and I am better for it and I have learned not to take anything for granted and live each and every day to the fullest and stop and listen to music along the way. I just wish that I didn't have to burden on my parents and Mom needs to help me with certain things but she does and that is the what life dealt me and Ihave to live with it and that is what I am trying to but today is really hard but Iam going to get through it and THANK GOD I am.

Pictures of My Scrap Space

This is my scrap space in my bedroom and it is still a work in progress but right now I am happ with the setup. The next thing I am going to get is another desk and a separate computer desk. Until then this is what it looks like

Finally Updating Blog!!!!!

I have finally gotten time to sit down and update my blog. Well.................... On Saturday I went to my very first crop, and I will probably never attend another one. I can stay at my house and scrap and not have any one to talk to. The only one that talked to me was the woman that had invited me to the crop, her name was Maria and she was the one that helped put on the crop. The other woman was a nice lady and she was trying running around getting things for everyone. She had a 6ft. table that was full of Stampin Up! stamps, there was half a table of Alphabet Stamps and the other half had the othere kind of stamps. She had every kind of stamp that you could of wanted to use on your layouts or cards. I thought that I was a Alphabet-olic but Jennifer had me beat big time. I had taken the 8X8 album that I got from QVC, it is the second installment of the TSV from February, and that is what I was working on the first part of the day, and there were a couple of ladies that stopped by the table to look at my album but other than that there was no one that really talked to me or included me in the conversations. That was ok I just sat and listened to them talk and watched what they produced in the way of layouts and such, and some of the layouts that I saw were not what I called good. I saw some that looked like a child had done them. A couple of ladies had said that they had been published and they showed the layouts and I didn't think that they were all that good to be published, but that is my personal opinion and that doesn't count for a whole lot since I am afraid to send in any thing to see if they will publish anything that I have done. I don't want to be rejected and that is why I won't send in anything. But I am thinking about sending something in to the Card Maker magazine and see if they will publish it. Anyway, I was really disappointed with the lunch that was served at the crop, I was told that there was a Salad Bar, the bar was a bowl of Ceasar Salad mix, Ham.Cheese and dried fruit and the salad dressing Itaian and some kind of vingerettre and that was it and then for dessert there was mini brownies and that was it for the Salad Bar and dessert. Needless to say, I didn't have a much of a lunch. Had a little salad and ham and cheese and no dressing and a mini brownie. Then outside for a smoke and I was the only one that smoked too and then I went back in and sat alone utnil I decided to call Mom to come get me. I was tired anyway and I was beginning to hurt alot and it was only getting worse the longer that I was sitting. I got almost the whole 8X8 album done by 12 and from then until I left at 2 I was working on making cards. The cards that I made I ended up throwing them away when I got home. The stamps that were there for us to use were no in very good shape and some of them were almost brand new and they looked like they had been soaked in ink. I guess that I am picky about all my things that I clean them up as soon as I am done with a particular stamp and I make sure that they are cleaned and dry and put back where they belong after I use them. When I stamp I make sure that all the ink is off of them and they are put back. Some of the alphabet stamps that I tried to use where not the best and they were not stamping right and when I finished with them, the card did not look right and when I got home they looked crappy and I was not happy with them so in the trash they went. I have 2 Mother's day cards and 4 Birthday Cards to make in the next week and I have no idea what to do for them. I am working on 1 Mother's card for my dad to give to Mom and then I have to make her one from me and then 4 birthday cards to make and mail out so that is going to keep me busy for awhile so I better get it to.... Thanks for reading my blog and Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!