I feel like a teenager in high school again

Well since last week I have talked to Ken (ex husband) every single day for about an hour at the least to 3 hours at a time and we still have not run out of things to talk about. We talk about when we were married and things that we have done since we have been separated and divorced. I have asked him some hard questions that most people would avoid but he has answered them to the best that he can and I can tell when he lies because he stammers and he gets quite. But now I think that if he walked in the door and asked me to marry him again I would and that would make alot of people unhappy. My dad is not happy that I am talking to him but it is only talking right now and that is all. We talk on the phone and email and even text messages. He called New Year's Eve at 11:30 so we could ring in the New Year together and see what the new year has in store for us. I told Ken last night that I was having the doubts creeping in again and he asked why. One reason is because of the guy that I am married to and the way that he has treated me for the last 6 years and after living with someone that doesn't believe that you are in pain and tells you that it is all in your head and there is nothing wrong with you, you start to believe it and it becomes a part of you and it is hard to get rid of but I am trying to beleive that I am worthy of having someone love me for what I am and not for what I can give them in the bedroom. I asked Ken if he could live without having a sex life and he told me that sex is not what it is all about and being with me and being able to help me and hold me at night, is what he wants and if the sex comes to be part of it then so be it. I have doubts sometimes about Ken and him walking out on me again but I am not too sure that he would do that again since he said that he was stupid for walking out on me the first time and he would never do it again, he said that he wanted to take care of me but the only thing that changed in the last 12 years is that I have become very independant and able to take care of myself pretty good. We will see what happens in the future and what happens between us. We had alot of great times together and I am hoping that we are going to have alot more in the future and if we can make a go of it after being away from one another for 12 years and it seems when we talk that it has not been that long and we have picked up where we left off. I am waiting for him to call now and he will call after his dad goes to bed at 8:30 and we will talk for about an hour. Turn in for the rest of the story later